I just heard about the government shutdown.
And I knew it was going to be bad.
But I didn’t think it was going to be THIS bad.
I mean only essential personnel are allowed to be here. Hence, I’m still here.
But, why are you still here Mike?
Er..because come to a standstill without me.
And I’m the only one that can write the morning report.
Uh huh, however you’re gonna to sell it.
Yeah. Speaking of which, I should probably go write the morning report.
Come on, wake up. Are you kidding?
I do not have time for this.
Guess I’d better call tech services.
All the representatives are busy right now.
Oh my gosh. I’m not going to wait 30 minutes. I’ll call Yang Lin.
Hey Mike, what’s up?
Hey Yang Lin. Do you know what the alternative number to tech services is?
They are not picking up their main line.
Oh, all tech support got furloughed during the government shutdown.
Are you serious? How am I supposed to get my computer fixed now?
Have you tried hitting it with a hammer?
Oh yeah, a lot of help you are. I’ll try something else.
Just good bye. Oh,I will call Ted, he’ll know.
Hello? Hey Ted, it’s Mike.
I know this is not really your department’s thing. But, can you take a look at my computer?
It won’t turn on. I’ve got like 2 hours to get this report out.
Sure. But you’ll have to bring it up to me. I can’t leave that unattended.
My whole desktop computer?
Yep. Umm…just give me a couple of minutes. I’ll be right there.
Dude, I’m so sorry. But hauling this thing up 3 flights of steps is a killer.
Sorry brother, but the word just came down.
Hold on, come on! I’ll make it worth your while.
That Kesha poster you’ve always wanted it’s yours. I promise.
Come on, I will even set you up with Yang Lin.
She’s not exactly my type, too high maintenance.
Seriously, what am I gonna do?
If I don’t have this report done in 2 hours, my boss is going to use me for a punching bag.
You could try media services downstairs,they sometimes do these kinds of repairs.
Thank you dude, I really appreciate that. Enjoy your furlough!
I’m really sorry. But I’m in a major rush.
I need this thing working in less than an hour.
Is there anything you can do to help me?
Sure, we can do that for you. I just need for you to fill out a little bit of paperwork.
Thank you, you are a life saver.
Just need for you to fill out. Here, here, here ,here and sign it.
Ok. I’ll also need two forms of government ID.
What do you need that for?
To make sure you are who you say you are. We can’t just fix anybody’s computer.
You are serious? Ok, you know what? I’ve got my driver’s license.
And…I’ve got my building pass. Will that work?
Sure. Oh my gosh.
Ok. Now can we get my computer fixed?
Yep. Here’s your receipt. You can pick it up in three weeks.
I don’t have three minutes!
If I don’t have this thing done, my boss is going to skin me alive.
Ok, Ok. No need to get snippy. I can expedite the process.
Ok, how do we do that?
I just need you to initial here, at the bottom. Here you go.
It will be ready in a week.
A week? Maybe I wasn’t clear. I need this done in 5 minutes.
I’m sorry, but we can’t work that fast.
Why? It’s not rocket science.
Watch your attitude, young man. This is the government.
We follow procedures.
Oh hey Mike. Ok, put this down. Don’t overact. Calm down.
What is this?
You have a letter. But, Ok. You look so ripped today.
Did you grow muscle? Did you lose weight? Look at all these muscles, you are so built.
I’ve been furloughed?
Ok, calm down, think of all the things you can do.
This is awesome news! I don’t have to do my report anymore! Yes! laters!
He took that better than I expected.
Come to a standstill
The District of Columbia came to a standstill during the government shutdown.
Leave something unattended
Never leave a baby unattended in the bathtub.
Make it worth someone’s while
If you give the contract to our company, I guarantee I will make it worth your while.
Skin someone alive
I had a strict curfew when I was little. If I didn’t get home on time, my parents would skin me alive.